I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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