two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My feet surprised me
Randomize
