He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
