She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
