Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
