Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
