how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
there is glitter all over my balls
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
