I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
