What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
