I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
