so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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