She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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