Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize