i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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