I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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