Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
