i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
