oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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