We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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