the day after is always just damage control
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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