I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
