Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize