And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize