It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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