we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
