I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
