I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
