Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There r osticjed everywhere
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
