I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
