WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
did you just send me my own nude
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
