So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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