No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
did i just pee glitter
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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