I don't think brook has ever known best
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
