Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
