I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
