I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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