dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
