'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize