It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
