She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
