i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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