I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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