handjob tips. give me some.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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