I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
