I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize