i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
