Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
