We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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