Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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