Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
