Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
