I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
