just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
