Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
