He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
