So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think i have two assholes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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