You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
our cab driver is having phone sex.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize