im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
