I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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