it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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