I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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