i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
