I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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