hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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