He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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