next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize