Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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