I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
