you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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