And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
